Why Your Pilates Teacher is Cheering for You
- Laura Bond Williams
- Sep 8
- 5 min read
Ready?
OK.
Let’s talk about the difference between who we are being vs. what we are doing. When they don’t align, we create unexpected hurdles on our path to our goals.
I’m going to share a story about what happened to me when being and doing were mismatched. Let's go back to 1982 - 87 when I tried out for – and became – a high school cheerleader.
Even 40 years later, when people learn I was a cheerleader, responses range from approving and curious to critical:
“OH. GOD.” “Really?” “Hmm, I could see that.”
Me, being an otherwise unidentifiable former cheerleader, well, I laughed hard when comedian Atsuko Okatsuka outed cheerleaders among us with “roll call” in her new Disney/Hulu special, Father. (Five stars, highly recommend)
Okatsuka reminds us that we cheerleaders were/are mildly “unhinged” (her words) and blindly optimistic – even cheering when our teams lost, week after week. She’s right: summoning our telepathy (“win, win!” “just win tonight, please!”), using clever rhythm and rhytme “(“go bananas, go go bananas”) and leaping, throwing our bodies into the air did not improve our team’s strength, speed, agility, or talent.
So is cheerleading merely an outlet for excessive optimism? Trying out for cheerleader in 7th grade, I learned two cheers. One was:
N-J-H (pause) We’ll take you to the top. (pause)
N-J-H (clap clap) We can’t be stopped!
(Don’t remember the other cheer. And, I didn’t make it.)
Trying out for cheerleading was a two-part process: first, the judges, then the student body. You had to get the judges' approval, then the student body vote. I don’t know how most American schools picked cheerleaders, but in Texas, this process was common. Becoming a cheerleader was part skill, part popularity. That custom began at the turn of the 20th century on college campuses, when male cheer or “yell leaders” were elected by their student bodies. The practice reflects its role as a leadership position. Cheerleaders were chosen by people they are meant to motivate and inspire: the student body.
So here’s how that went for me:
First time: didn’t “make it” past the judges.
Second time, didn’t “make it” past the student body.
Third time was THE charm: I made it past both the judges and student body, earning my first cheer squad spot (and my James Avery silver megaphone charm ring).
For three years, I loved doing the cheerleading.
Learning, practicing, jumping, dancing, yelling – CHEERING – at all the things. We competed at cheerleader camp every summer and cheered football, basketball, volleyball, and soccer seasons before doing it all over again and trying out for the next year.
As much fun as “doing cheerleading” was for me, I struggled with “being a cheerleader.”
We might think that becoming a cheerleader rubber stamps “secure” and “confident,” but it didn’t for me. It might have had an opposite effect: I became more self-conscious, more worried about what people thought of me, less sure of who my friends were, and why they liked me. Was I different than other cheerleaders? Thin enough? Nice? Likable? Weird? Snobby? Pretty? Fashionable? Clueless? I exhausted myself being a cheerleader.
After three years, I decided not to try out for my senior year. (Two lovely girls thanked me then and as grown women, have thanked me since, because the decision created opportunities and memories for them.)
Who was cheering for me? I had to figure out what I wanted and how to get it. So I returned to a local dance studio to take tap and jazz classes, began applying to colleges, and life went on.
Flash to 1993, post-college graduation, and the echoes of 'being' vs. 'doing' emerged again when I took a dance/cheer class taught by a former Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader. After a few weeks, she announced: “you are ready for pom poms!” And I got to hold – and dance with – these enormous, white DCC poms, fluffed twice the size of my head. They were so fun! She was encouraging: you should go to San Antono, try out for Spurs Dancers, she said. I couldn’t quite see myself doing it, and I knew why when she said:
“Just need to lose a few pounds.”
Being was harder than doing. Being the person who could lose 10 pounds and not lose her mind felt harder than the prospect of auditioning for a pro cheer team. (BTW – I didn’t lose weight, didn’t try out – and I was okay. Carried on with my public relations career and graduate school…)
What does this have to do with today, being a business owner, coach, and Pilates teacher? This happened only when I set out to realign being and doing – again.
For 25 years my first career in public relations let me imagine and create best possible outcomes for TV shows, new products, timely issues, special events, and worthy causes; I held many titles with similar purpose: publicist, specialist, account supervisor, Fortune 50 spokesperson, and PR consultant to entrepreneurs, artists, and executives.
When being and doing felt mismatched – I had to change. I became a born-again dancer; a Pilates student; then began studying to become a teacher and life coach. A long process of realigning began. Now I support others to imagine and pursue the best possible healthy lifestyle, aligning life to reach ambitious goals – whether that’s exercise, health, life, or work.
When we decide to do something new – we also become someone new.
And surprise! That’s where our obstacles hide. When doing gets a little ahead of our being, patterns may emerge and we feel disappointed, stuck, overwhelmed – or dissatisfied with our own efforts.
Being a cheerleader in high school, I felt insecure, unsure, and anxious, and I behaved accordingly – didn’t know how to dress, btw, always unhappy with my appearance, and never quite sure where I fit in and with whom (like a lot of people in high school, right?). In hindsight, it was self-sabotage, ah dear girl.
Back to here and now, when our being/doing is out of alignment, we also might sabotage our efforts, e.g.:
Buy classes and not use them
Join a gym and not go
Sign up for class – but always run late
Overschedule others’ needs and always reschedule our own
Wonder if it works (whatever exercise “it” is) and fall into TikTok research rabbit holes looking for confidence or confirmation that Pilates (or barre, hot pilates, yogalates, or pumped-up-fit-cross-training-body-jam-class) will work. (Hint: it all works, depending on what you want.)
When doing and being are aligned, people doing something new will:
Decide to get what they paid for
Set their workout schedule a month or more in advance
Manage others’ expectations and prioritize their commitments to themselves
Trust the process and believe that they are worth it.
Nobody’s perfect; I have habits on both lists. I know what to do when my being/doing are out of sync. For example, rescheduling is a red flag that old habits are creeping in.
I’m not shy anymore about outing myself as a former cheerleader.
I stand by my relentless optimism that everyone can learn new physical and mental skills and feel stronger and more confident in their bodies and their lives. My optimism stands on my experienced shoulders.
So who’s cheering for you to find exercise that you love?
ME.
When you want to be the one who does the thing, I'll teach you how to cheer for you, too.
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